So I know it has been a long time since I have written here. But I am going to give you guys an update. I got a card from my estranged mother and her number was in it. It has been 13-14 years since I have spoken to my mother and heard her voice. Once I saw that number I dialed in my phone and stared at it for a good hour. My heart was rushing in fear, excitement, anger, and sadness. I had my thumb hovering over the call button and finally hit it. I was so close to hanging up out of fear until my mother picked up. You could hear the elation in her voice and she said I had made her day and Christmas. We caught up a little bit in the seven minutes we were talking and she said something I never wanted to hear but feared would be something I would eventually hear. She had had breast cancer over the summer, and though it was in remission, is going in for a diagnostic soon to make sure she is staying healthy. With my father having had died from cancer and my mother having cancer, I am now so very scared about having cancer. I have been shaking and crying since the conversation and cannot stop thinking about what I would do if I ever got cancer.
Anyways, that was just an update and hope all of you guys are doing well!